Ok, I started with a list of 2062 synonyms for Male Genitalia last Wednesday (along with doing a little follow up on Thursday) – but what do men “do” with it?

Yep – it’s “increase your vocabulary” time again! So may I present “Euphemisms for ‘that solo activity’ known as masturbation” (now watch my blog get censored for mentioning “that word” ).

Worryingly enough, I’ve managed to find 581 synonyms for male masturbation – but only 35 for female…

(Oh – the picture? Think “Arm Aerobics”, “Bash The Candle” and “Battling the purple-helmet warrior”).
» Read more: Weird: Masturbation Euphemisms

Are you looking for an unusual present to get someone this Christmas? Well, how about something that combines the Japanese craft of Origami, the simplicity of a piece of paper and the conceptual masterpiece and design of a boulder/rock? Yep – you can know own (for the low cost price of just $10) your own Wadded Paper Origami Boulder – for an extra $5 you can also get it with a Haiku poem.

As the artist says: “This very nice artwork that come with card and make good gift for your friend. Your friend never forget you when you send fine art gift like this! I am famous Internet artist, so original wadded paper origami art become VERY VALUABLE some day. Especially haiku version, because it is double artwork.”.

Hmm – what a shame my Christmas shopping is nearly complete: I doubt they would have been able to ship it to me in time anyway…

Yep, there’s a continuation from yesterday’s Male Genitalia post. It’s just that Neil‘s comment reminded me of a few songs I had heard concerning it, so may I present:

The Penis Song – by Monty Python
A nice little ditty – imagine Noel Coward performing it whilst playing a piano.

and

Pet Names For Genitalia – by Tom Green.
This song is often thought to be by one of my favourite artists: Weird Al Yankovic, but it’s not from him! Yes – that’s how I came across the song: I got sent it and was told it was by Al…

Unfortunately, despite listening to quite a bit of Jasper Carrott and searching the net, I’ve found no reference (well, apart from someone remarking to someone else “Did you see Jasper Carrott last night then?”) to the Jasper Carrott recital that Neil mentioned. If anyone can give me a clue (say, for example, a line of lyrics or something) then I can see what I can do.

Women – don’t worry about “missing out” with all the mention of penises – your time will cum. (And there ends today’s course in double innuendos).
» Read more: Weird: Male Genitalia: Part The Deux

Don’t you just hate it how sometimes someone’s blog post can get you searching for something (in my case it was a quote from Austin Powers 2 that I could only partially recall) and you come across something that makes you eyes jump out?

Yep. Me too. But a list I found of different names for male genitalia is just shocking in it’s completeness (I could only find a Google cache, so I’ll copy the list here for posterity).

I must have led a very sheltered life up to know to only know around a dozen or so of these references… So, for those of you who have covered sexual education in school – here’s a list of 2062 synonyms for ‘that part’ of a man:
» Read more: Weird: Male Genitalia

You all know to shut down your computer properly at night/when you finish don’t you? Well – did you remember to shut down the Internet correctly when you had finished using it?

No? Well, next time – remember to take your Javascript enabled web browser over to Turn Off The Internet and safely shutdown the Internet when you’ve finished with it.

Before you do that, remember that Windows allows you to use Alt+F4 to close the current window…

(I actually have fond memories of a big red button – some ODP editors will probably remember a big April Fools joke that was played on us in 2001. I think we all learnt that when a sign says “Do NOT [Push] the Big Red Button!”, it’s advisable to NOT push it: no matter how much you are tempted. Following instructions is a good idea sometimes )