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Day: 19 December 2002

Blog: How My Blog Works

December 19, 2002
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[My blog coming out of a top hat]To satisfy Neil‘s curiosity, here’s how my blog works…

Basically, it runs on the Movable Type blog content management system (which uses MySQL and Perl) on a Debian Linux server running the Apache web server. The web pages it outputs are made into PHP files (using Apache’s mod_mime extension with .htaccess functionality to force the .html extension files to be interpreted as PHP).

I’ve used PHP to help split the site down into several extra “template” files – therefore if I want to make a change to the title bar of the site or to the column which runs down the side – then I just change the appropriate template file, “rebuild” it and the entire site is dynamically re-updated.

That’s the basics: now onto the more complicated stuff…

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Weird: Real Hamsters!

December 19, 2002
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[Hamsters]After a little “something” for Crimbo/Xmas (depending on which side of the Atlantic you are from)? All alone at home? Well, have I got the perfect gift for you!

The Real Hamster is “the world’s finest love hamster” and is realistic, lifesize, lifelike (“anatomically correct, if better endowed than most real hamsters”), beautiful, and elastic (“remains tight even after millions of operations”).

Yep, just like that strange human-shaped Real Doll you can get (sorry – no link’s as it’s a bit “too” Adult for linking from here: but use Google), you can select the “Body Type” you want, “Head Type”, fur, nose and eye colour/color as well as any “extras”.

So, if you love animals in more than “one way” and don’t want to break the law – then order away!

Oh, and the “Original Dancing Hampsters” have a Christmas dance (you can still see the original hamster dance at a number of mirror sites). Ahh – listening to that little clip made me get out my copy of Cognoscenti Vs Intelligentsia which was a single by the Cuban Boys with a “full length” song of the Hamster Dance.

Personal: B— Royal Mail

December 19, 2002
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[Royal Mail Parcel]On Saturday (14th) at around 4pm, I sent a present off to my GESF by first class postage (costing £1.48) with the hope it’ll be there by Tuesday at the latest.

It’s now Thursday afternoon, and the parcel STILL has not arrived – much to her and my disappointment. 🙁 Royal Mail (the UK’s postal organisation) state on their website that “We aim to deliver more than 90% of First Class letters by the next working day, including Saturdays“. So, assuming that Monday was the first “working day” since posting, it should have arrived at it’s destination (210 miles away) on Tuesday… Two days later and it’s still not there. Working it out from leaving Leicester at midday on Monday (which, considering I caught the last post on Saturday means I’m being generous) – and it arrives first post at its destination tomorrow (we’ll assume 8am, and I hope it DOES arrive then!): it means it had an average speed of 2.28 miles per hour. I could have walked there faster!

Luckily I got a “Certificate Of Posting” (proof that I actually posted the item) – so if it has “got lost” I can claim the value of the items back. But, after speaking to the Royal Mail’s help-desk (08457 740 740) I was informed that the Royal Mail recommends that items posted at any time of the year can take up to 10 working days to be delivered by first class post – and until that time has elapsed they can’t regard anything as “lost”! Ten days? First class?

The Christmas presents I sent down to her today were sent by “Special Delivery” (at a cost of £6.54 as it weighed around 1.5kg) which “guarantees next working day delivery by 12 noon or your money back” (also it allows you to “track and trace” the package via their website and claim up to £250 compensation – “standard” postage only entitles you to 10 times the current 1st class postage rate: at the moment, the maximum compensation is £27).

It’s going to be slightly odd if both parcels arrive at the same time – but posted 5 days apart. But it’s still disappointing that the parcel didn’t arrive in time 🙁

News: Pepsi change from Britney to Ozzy?

December 19, 2002
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[Britney Spears and Ozzy Osbourne]I’ve just read something slightly “strange” in this morning’s Daily Mail newspaper concerning Britney Spears. Basically, Pepsi “is dropping the 21-year-old as the face of its advertising campaign”. Why? “Miss Spears signed with Pepsi in February 2001 in a two-year deal but soon infuriated bosses by being spotted drinking Coca-Cola… She has also been pictured smoking and drinking, which is not the image we want.”

So Brit’s lost the advertising deal because she’s been seen smoking and drinking. I wonder who Pepsi Co will sign up to replace her? Step forward heavy metal singer Ozzy Osbourne who they signed up “following the success of the reality TV show The Osbournes“.

Hang on a rock-picking minute. Is this the same Ozzy Osbourne (real name John Osbourne) who was the lead singer for Black Sabbath, who spent about $1000 a week on drugs, smokes, famously bit the head off a bat in 1982 (and then had to be treated for rabies), has been jailed for theft and burglary, and is known for having been dependent on alcohol?

<sarcasm mode on> Yes – that’s a great improvement isn’t it? <sarcasm mode off>