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Joke: An Idiots Guide To Being Human

[Idiots Guide To Being...]Looking into the New Year with confusion? Then do I have the pamphlet/leaflet for you! When you were born, you did not come with an owner’s manual; this guide will hopefully make your life better:

  • You will receive a body. You may not like it, but it’s the only thing you are sure to keep for life.
  • You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called “Life on Planet Earth”. Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.
  • Will will also be studying part-time at “The School Of Hard Knocks” and “The University Of Life” – these are long standing schools and universities and hence have many traditions that you may never understand
  • There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. “Failures” are as much a part of the process as “success.”
  • A lesson is repeated until it is learnt. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it – then you can go on to the next lesson.
  • If you don’t learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.
  • You will know you have learnt a lesson when your actions have changed. Wisdom is practise. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.
  • “There” is not better than “here”. When your “there” becomes a “here” you will simply obtain another “there.”
  • Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but it is only useful before the event.
  • Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate about in yourself.
  • Never drink more than 2 Pan-Galatic Gargle Blasters, large bottles of Whisky or motor oil
  • Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life – or someone else will.
  • You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract – therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.
  • There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralising doesn’t help. Judgements only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.
  • Try to always act naturally – even if you don’t feel like it.
  • Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others as we mature; we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written.
  • You know more than you have heard or been told. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

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