Archive for August 10th, 2007

Fun: New Security Levels Announced

August 10th, 2007

From my other half:

The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved”. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross”. The British have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance”. The last time the British issued “A Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the British and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose”.

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Techy Fun: Cat on mouse

August 10th, 2007

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Category: Uncategorized. Author: Dohpaz.

I am a trainer in a course in web development (Adults).

Prerequisites: General level of computer knowledge. ICDL/ ECDL level or above. Knowledge of web preferable.

Day one: Introduction to web, file structuring and languages quiet class taking a bit of time to warm up, that’s ok usually a little daunted then i end the lesson in some examples from previous students, class now exited.
Day Two: Good mood exited people.. one hour into lesson, after two days of repeatedly asking for questions having question time and fielding many questions simple to complicated, I get this pushy woman (whom i have been asking specifically if she has any questions, as she seems to be a little.. wide eyed looking) blasts out at me
Lady – My thing is broken
Me – Ok Which thing?
Lady – This [holding up the mouse]
I go over and check the mouse thinking perhaps the roller ball is dirty (it is a college) no seems fine.
Me – What seems to be the problem with it
Lady – It wont do the things you are telling us to do
Me – Could you show me what you mean? [cusping that zone of pleasant verbal tennis]
Lady – There is no double click button on this [slapping the mouse with her hand]
Me – !!!!!!
So explain to her calmly (calling on the power of strength from Saint IT) what double click is etc.

At the break in the class I discreetly get chatting with this lady and point out that it may be difficult to complete the course successfully without having basic computer skills, and ask did she see the prerequisites for the course ..ECDL/ ICDL and basic computer usage etc. to which she replies
Lady – I do have all that, sure, im the one who takes the money out of the hole in the wall thingy even for my husband.
Me – !!!! ….. And the ICDL/ ECDL ????
Lady – I didn’t really know what THAT one meant!

So i suppose I don’t know what the moral of this one…. it just make me think.

(where’s the double click … that’s a new one for me)

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