Posts Tagged ‘fun’

Video: Fun with Telemarketers

October 7th, 2008

Here’s how you can torment telemarketers with a single word:

Fun: Banned from Tescos

October 2nd, 2008

Dan Hardiker posted about Tesco Antics which just had me bursting out laughing. I’ve got no idea if this is fact or fiction (and isn’t it just a little scary that I can’t tell?):

Dear Mrs. Murray,

While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.

Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3’ in housewares….. and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the ‘Madonna look’ using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled ‘PICK ME!’ ‘PICK ME!’
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed ‘NO! NO! It’s those voices again.’

And; last, but not least:

14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, ‘There is no toilet paper in here.’

Yours sincerely,

Charles Brown
Store Manager

Fun: The Snowman Irn Bru advert

December 15th, 2007

If you haven’t already seen it – the new Irn Bru advert featuring a certain Snowman. Needs sound, Flash and somewhere to roll on the floor laughing afterwards.

Quite a few renditions of places in Scotland where Irn-Bru is made if you can spot them!

Fun: What I’ve learnt from Cats

December 7th, 2007

From Davezilla :

1. New shoes are the natural repository for cats to vomit into
2. Your current reading material is the most comfortable place to take a nap
3. There is no cupboard door made that cannot be pried open with a paw
4. The ideal surface for removing clingy cat litter from paws is a laptop keyboard
5. If it can be clawed apart, it will be. If it was meant to be clawed apart, it will be ignored.
6. Catnip is exciting sure, but houseplants, now that’s a real rush.
7. Some of the scultpures in the litterbox Zen garden are deemed too important to be buried and must be shared with others
8. Open windows must be ignored until the exact second they are closed, at which time, their intrinsic value is intantly recognized
9. Chin scratching is an act which must have no ending or time limit. Ever.
10. The best time to jump up suddenly at you is while you’re completely immersed in a scary movie.
11. That we are meant to serve, not be served by, cats. Unfortunately they already know and expect this.
12. That no flower bed is sacred to an outdoor cat.
13. An indoor cat will try to ensure that no planter is sacred, if physiologically possible.
14. Curtains are but ladders to cats.
15. New furniture is the designated scratching post.
16. Shed hair and dander will travel to places and corners you thought unimaginable.

%d bloggers like this: