Archive for May, 2007

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Ramblings: Jaffa Cake Advert Song

May 10th, 2007

Can anybody else remember a Jaffa Cake advert from around 1990 which went (in a Jamaican style accent):

Now listen general public for goodness sake,
My family they go crazy for those Jaffa Cakes,
Like when I’m bouncing little baby on my knee,
The first words that he speaks are
“They’re orangey”…
Jaffa Jaffa….

If you can remember it – plus post here and confirm that I haven’t made this up AND, if you can remember it – the full lyrics to the song. If you’ve got a copy (with video) then an Amazon gift voucher for £5 (or similar) will be heading your way!

October 2011 update: It’s been found! See Jaffa Cake advert found

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Posted in Drunken Ramblings

Fun: Maharishi Phucknuckel’s Guide to Zen

May 9th, 2007

Forwarded on to me from my other half from her father:

  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either, just fuck off and leave me alone.
  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
  • The darkest hours come just before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbour’s milk and newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
  • Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren’t getting any.
  • Don’t aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  • Remember, no one is listening until you fart.
  • Never forget that you are unique, like everyone else.
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • If you think nobody cares whether you’re dead or alive, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
  • Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, avoid skydiving.
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  • Have you ever lent someone £20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.
  • If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
  • Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreens.
  • Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
  • Good judgment comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
  • A closed mouth gathers no feet.
  • There are two theories about how to win an argument with a woman. Neither one works.
  • Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much if your lips are moving.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  • When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse.
  • The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
  • Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.

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Posted in Net: Jokes

Net: LOLCats – Tribble with Troubles

May 7th, 2007

You’re familiar with “LOLCats” aren’t you? (you know, the cat pictures with cat like sayings such as “i in your computer stealing your internets”)? And familiar with Star Trek’s best ever episode – The Trouble With Tribbles? If so, have a look at Live Granade’s LOL Trek. And if you need me to explain what you expect to see at that post, well use your imagination…

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Posted in Net: Fun

Fox in our garden

May 6th, 2007

FoxMy other half just spotted a fox lurking around in our jungle garden that she’s recently been working her little heart out cleaning and getting into control.

It looks like the fox is familar with the garden area (even though the garden has been changing in the past few weeks) and we just wonder if we’ll see some more of it soon.

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Posted in Life: Personal

News: Walking Speeds and me

May 2nd, 2007

The BBC has an article entitled “What walking speeds say about us” and it does hit home for me – every morning, I get infuratated by people just getting in my way when I want to get from A to B. Events such as people walking along and then suddenly stopping (usually by a bus shelter so you can’t easily walk around them), weaving from one side to another (so you can’t over take them) and other similar events (do you really need to stand 2 foot away from a shop door?) really gets my blood pressure going in the morning.

Meh!

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Posted in Life: News Commentary

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