Weird: Male Genitalia: Part The Deux

December 12th, 2002 by Richy B. Leave a reply »

[Purple Helmet Warrior]Yep, there’s a continuation from yesterday’s Male Genitalia post. It’s just that Neil‘s comment reminded me of a few songs I had heard concerning it, so may I present:

The Penis Song – by Monty Python
A nice little ditty – imagine Noel Coward performing it whilst playing a piano.

and

Pet Names For Genitalia – by Tom Green.
This song is often thought to be by one of my favourite artists: Weird Al Yankovic, but it’s not from him! Yes – that’s how I came across the song: I got sent it and was told it was by Al…

Unfortunately, despite listening to quite a bit of Jasper Carrott and searching the net, I’ve found no reference (well, apart from someone remarking to someone else “Did you see Jasper Carrott last night then?”) to the Jasper Carrott recital that Neil mentioned. If anyone can give me a clue (say, for example, a line of lyrics or something) then I can see what I can do.

Women – don’t worry about “missing out” with all the mention of penises – your time will cum. (And there ends today’s course in double innuendos).

From Monty Python’s Flying Circus: Meaning Of Life:

Penis Song
a.k.a. The Not Noel Coward Song

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
It’s swell to have a stiffy.
It’s divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world’s biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend,Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don’t take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won’t come back.

From Tom Green (to the tune of “We didn’t start the fire”):

Pet Names For Genitalia

Mutton Dagger, old blind bob, hanging jonny, fishing rod
Tally wacker, pocket rocket, one-eyed trouser trout
Ding Dong, ankle spanker, pork sword, engine cranker, harry hotdog, davy crockett
let them all hang out

Pet names for genitalia
You know the girls think of ’em
And ya gotta love them
Pet names for genitalia
There’s always something silly
About little willy

Salty Pedro, hooded pipe, flesh train, orgasmic pike
Veined plunger, unmanned sub, gobblers delight
Slimy vine, hairy carrot, fruit of the forest, mute parrot, litter picker, button flicker,
Touch ’em if you like

Pet names for genitalia
You know the girls think of ’em
And ya gotta love them
Pet names for genitalia
There’s always something silly
About little willy

Tongue twister, meaty pole, flailing sausage, hardened roll,
Stiff drink, bloody tackle, rapid-fire love gun
Spitting Bishop, liquid pump, pleasure weapon, roasted rump, skin baton, joy device
Don’t they look like fun

Pet names for genitalia
You know the girls think of ’em
And ya gotta love them
Pet names for genitalia
There’s always something silly
About little willy

Wang, wazoo, weeny, wacker, pecker, peebee, kidney cracker
Heat-seeking moisture missile, giggle stick, love whistle
Tube steak, uncle dick, this is getting really sick
I’m not through, there’s one more
PURPLE-HELMET WARRIOR!!

Pet names for genitalia
You know the girls think of ’em
And ya gotta love them
Pet names for genitalia
There’s always something silly
About little willy

Pet names for genitalia
You know the girls think of ’em
And ya gotta love them
Pet names for genitalia

This post is over 6 months old.

This means that, despite my best intentions, it may no longer be accurate.

This blog holds over 12 years of archived content - during that time, I may have changed my opinion of something, technology will have advanced (and old "best standards" may no longer be the case), my technology "know how" has improved etc etc - it would probably take me a considerable amount of time to update all the archival entries: and defeat the point of keeping them anyway.

Please take these posts for what they are: a brief look into my past, my history, my journey and "caveat emptor".

1 comment

  1. Chris says:

    Isn’t there an original song? i heard it and it was about “JFK being blown away”
    It’s a really old song. if anyone knows the original then send it to me :X

gamy-dance
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