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Month: December 2002

Blog: How My Blog Works

[My blog coming out of a top hat]To satisfy Neil‘s curiosity, here’s how my blog works…

Basically, it runs on the Movable Type blog content management system (which uses MySQL and Perl) on a Debian Linux server running the Apache web server. The web pages it outputs are made into PHP files (using Apache’s mod_mime extension with .htaccess functionality to force the .html extension files to be interpreted as PHP).

I’ve used PHP to help split the site down into several extra “template” files – therefore if I want to make a change to the title bar of the site or to the column which runs down the side – then I just change the appropriate template file, “rebuild” it and the entire site is dynamically re-updated.

That’s the basics: now onto the more complicated stuff…

Weird: Real Hamsters!

[Hamsters]After a little “something” for Crimbo/Xmas (depending on which side of the Atlantic you are from)? All alone at home? Well, have I got the perfect gift for you!

The Real Hamster is “the world’s finest love hamster” and is realistic, lifesize, lifelike (“anatomically correct, if better endowed than most real hamsters”), beautiful, and elastic (“remains tight even after millions of operations”).

Yep, just like that strange human-shaped Real Doll you can get (sorry – no link’s as it’s a bit “too” Adult for linking from here: but use Google), you can select the “Body Type” you want, “Head Type”, fur, nose and eye colour/color as well as any “extras”.

So, if you love animals in more than “one way” and don’t want to break the law – then order away!

Oh, and the “Original Dancing Hampsters” have a Christmas dance (you can still see the original hamster dance at a number of mirror sites). Ahh – listening to that little clip made me get out my copy of Cognoscenti Vs Intelligentsia which was a single by the Cuban Boys with a “full length” song of the Hamster Dance.

Personal: B— Royal Mail

[Royal Mail Parcel]On Saturday (14th) at around 4pm, I sent a present off to my GESF by first class postage (costing £1.48) with the hope it’ll be there by Tuesday at the latest.

It’s now Thursday afternoon, and the parcel STILL has not arrived – much to her and my disappointment. 🙁 Royal Mail (the UK’s postal organisation) state on their website that “We aim to deliver more than 90% of First Class letters by the next working day, including Saturdays“. So, assuming that Monday was the first “working day” since posting, it should have arrived at it’s destination (210 miles away) on Tuesday… Two days later and it’s still not there. Working it out from leaving Leicester at midday on Monday (which, considering I caught the last post on Saturday means I’m being generous) – and it arrives first post at its destination tomorrow (we’ll assume 8am, and I hope it DOES arrive then!): it means it had an average speed of 2.28 miles per hour. I could have walked there faster!

Luckily I got a “Certificate Of Posting” (proof that I actually posted the item) – so if it has “got lost” I can claim the value of the items back. But, after speaking to the Royal Mail’s help-desk (08457 740 740) I was informed that the Royal Mail recommends that items posted at any time of the year can take up to 10 working days to be delivered by first class post – and until that time has elapsed they can’t regard anything as “lost”! Ten days? First class?

The Christmas presents I sent down to her today were sent by “Special Delivery” (at a cost of £6.54 as it weighed around 1.5kg) which “guarantees next working day delivery by 12 noon or your money back” (also it allows you to “track and trace” the package via their website and claim up to £250 compensation – “standard” postage only entitles you to 10 times the current 1st class postage rate: at the moment, the maximum compensation is £27).

It’s going to be slightly odd if both parcels arrive at the same time – but posted 5 days apart. But it’s still disappointing that the parcel didn’t arrive in time 🙁

News: Pepsi change from Britney to Ozzy?

[Britney Spears and Ozzy Osbourne]I’ve just read something slightly “strange” in this morning’s Daily Mail newspaper concerning Britney Spears. Basically, Pepsi “is dropping the 21-year-old as the face of its advertising campaign”. Why? “Miss Spears signed with Pepsi in February 2001 in a two-year deal but soon infuriated bosses by being spotted drinking Coca-Cola… She has also been pictured smoking and drinking, which is not the image we want.”

So Brit’s lost the advertising deal because she’s been seen smoking and drinking. I wonder who Pepsi Co will sign up to replace her? Step forward heavy metal singer Ozzy Osbourne who they signed up “following the success of the reality TV show The Osbournes“.

Hang on a rock-picking minute. Is this the same Ozzy Osbourne (real name John Osbourne) who was the lead singer for Black Sabbath, who spent about $1000 a week on drugs, smokes, famously bit the head off a bat in 1982 (and then had to be treated for rabies), has been jailed for theft and burglary, and is known for having been dependent on alcohol?

<sarcasm mode on> Yes – that’s a great improvement isn’t it? <sarcasm mode off>

Personal: Crimbo Shopping

[Leicester Clock Tower at Christmas]I’m glad Christmas only comes once a year! I’ve just finished off my Christmas shopping today and it was tiring to say the least. I had brought most things from Amazon at the end of last month (involving a total of 5 deliveries!), but I still had a get a couple of little somethings (mainly for my GESF and her flatmate).

Whilst Leicester town centre wasn’t too crowded, I did find some people annoying. My “normal walking speed” seems to be 50 to 100% faster than others, hence when I get stuck behind people and they just don’t move I get slightly annoyed. Oh – in the town centre, there’s a kinda “mini-theme park”: the standard “crane grab” machines, “hook a duck” and what’s termed a “Bungee Ride”. Basically you (and up to one other person) sits in this cage and it fires you up into the air (over 60ft) at over 8G’s. Wow! I didn’t have a go as I needed to do some shopping…

Anyway, after having a turkey lunch in Woolworths (not too bad for £4.99), I then grabbed some more cash and went up to Boots to grab a few prezzies. I just hope my GESF and her flatmate like them – the only thing is that due to how they “work” Christmas (they both go back to their individual parent’s houses), I’ve got to ensure the prezzies get there before Sunday. If I send them recorded post tomorrow morning then they should (fingers crossed) get to them on Friday…

I grabbed a few other things, grabbed a paper and then popped along to Maplins to look at a couple of prices. My printer (HP Deskjet 845C) ran out of blank ink late last week (so much for the “running low” warnings) and I had just used my final CD-R (around 60% from a batch were fault 🙁 ), so I needed to grab those. Maplins price for a black ink cartridge (HP order code 15) was £24.99 and a “cake” of 50 CD-Rs (without cases) was £19.99. Not too bad, but I thought since D.A.Computers was just over the road, I’ll pop into there to compare prices (as I’ve been a customer of theirs for over 10 years, been ‘aware’ of them for around 15 – and, in fact, brought my monitor, current computer and printer from them). Their prices? £22.33 for the ink cartridge and £18.22 for a cake of 50 80-minute CD-Rs.

Well, now I’ve just got to wrap everything up and get it ready for posting…*grr* I hate wrapping as well 🙁 Oh well – “Hi Ho, Hi Ho – it’s off to flibblepenguin we go…”