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Month: December 2002

Joke: Santa Downsizing

December 24, 2002
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[Reindeer]It seems that even Santa Claus is effected by downsizing if this email that I recently intercepted is anything to go by:

IMMEDIATE DOWNSIZING MEASURES EMPLOYED

The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring decisions at the North Pole.

Streamlining is due to the North Pole’s loss of dominance of this season’s gift distribution business. Home shopping channels, the Internet, and mail order catalogues have diminished Santa’s market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture.

Continue ReadingJoke: Santa Downsizing

Poll: Are You Crazy?

December 24, 2002
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[Are You Crazy?]Here’s a little quiz from those guys off at the See-Thru site again.

The Are You Crazy? quiz starts with the introduction “Let’s fact it, crazy people rock. They get all the attention, drugs, and films made about them. Not everyone’s got what it takes be a serial killer. What about you? Are you normal? Are you on the edge? Or are you full blown crazy sexy cool?” – and with question/answer combinations such as “Which of your old childhood habits do you still secretly indulge in? Killing small animals and licking their bones” and ” often hear voices telling me that they hear voices” – it’s quite an entertaining quiz!

Somehow, however, I only managed to score 110 which is “Yawn. Sorry. You’re totally sane. You’re not even anally retentive. You might as well get married, buy a house and settle into your banality right now, you boring bastard. Oh look – you already have…”

Unless, of course, I’ve a very very cunning sociopath who knows how to play the system and look perfectly normal until I strike…

Personal: Christmas Cards

December 23, 2002
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[Winnie The Pooh Christmas CardWell, Christmas is finally on it’s way! On Saturday, I received my first 3 Christmas cards: one from my Parents (which was a wide rectangular one with ‘beads’ and ‘cut-out’ effects on the front), one from my Uncle and Auntie and a quite cute Giraffe one from The Positive Internet Company (who also have a fun Shockwave Flash game where you’ve got to help a long-necked quadruped land on a ski-jump target with the help of a penguin and a buffalo).

This morning, I received two more cards – one very impersonal one from Telecity (the one from Positive Internet was ‘signed’ by all the staff there: the Telecity one didn’t even have a single human name on it) and the one sent to me by my GESF. It’s a very nice Winnie the Pooh card with Pooh and Piglet sitting in front of a Christmas tree with stars/snowflakes falling around them (it’s actually the picture for this blog entry: the text at the bottom says “little stars glow bright like candle light.”).

Only thing is, it was posted by First Class post last Monday (the 16th), actually postmarked 17th December (7pm) and arrived this morning – nearly a complete week after posting (since it wasn’t posted until around 3pm, but arrived around 8.30am). 7 days for a “First Class” item is currently the record – previously it was 6 days, but looking at an article on BBC News it appears that I’m not the only person that may be loosing faith in the British Royal Mail postal service (currently a monopoly here for “letters and small packages”).

Snippet: Love

December 22, 2002
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*snippet* I’ve just seen episode 14 of series 2 (“Chef Aid”) of South Park, and this phrase sticks in my mind: “Love isn’t a decision, it’s a feeling. If we could decide who we love, it would be much simpler, but much less magical” (actually said by Mr.Twig/Garrison near the end – consult the script if you want)