Friday Group Therapy: Friends

Late again, but it’s time for my Friday Group Therapy – this time about Friends (and, no, not that strange American sitcom with the same name). My answers to this weeks questions are, in my own words, slightly “below par” – but I’m allowed an off post/day/week/month/year/decade aren’t I? 🙂

1. Describe what you consider to be a true friend?
   To me, a true friend is some one that is ‘there’ for you out of choice – if you need a shoulder to cry on, someone to just talk to, and someone you enjoy being around. Quite a tall order really! A good example that I’ve recently come across has been in the Robin Cook book “Vector” where the character Laurie breaks up with her “could soon be fiancee” and goes back to her friend’s – Jack – place to stay the night and just for a cuddle and talk. Good friends should be able to talk to each other about just about anything, yet still not try to force the other to agree with their opinions.

   Sometimes the chemistry between two really good friends can be so strong that it may be mistaken as love – and not just between the parties involved. Others may see two people spending lots of time together and really enjoying each others company and that could just be true friendship.

2. Are you still close with friends from 10 years ago?
   No, not really. Hang on – let me remember what I was actually doing 10 years ago… (fx: Richy thinks back: 2002-10=1992, therefore I was 12 years old and just leaving primary school). I can remember a few friends from that time, but I’ve not been in contact with them for ages.

1. Has your definition of “friend” changed much in the last few years?
   When I was younger, a friend was just someone I “hung out” with – went out to play with etc. Now, it’s slightly more complex. I seem to have “work friends” which I work with and occasionally go out with (say for a “night out on the town”), pub friends (friends I know down the pub), ODP friends (people who I know via the Open Directory Project, we may have met in real life, but we still refer to each other by our ‘editor aliases’) and then the close friends (such as my GESF – Green Eyed Southern Friend and my American friend ‘K’) who I talk to on a regular basis about anything.
2. Do you have any long-distance friends?
   Most of my friends do seem to be “long distance” ones – I’ve got Neil, Ciaran, Ffabris and dfy from the ODP who a long distance away, I’ve got my GESF and her flatmate who lives half-the-country away from me (as I’m in the middle of the country and she’s near the south), my old workmates live around 60 miles away, and my American friend ‘K’ (who I really need to catch on AOL IM soon as I haven’t spoken to her in ages) lives in America.
3. Do you have more friends now than you did 5 years ago? What are your feelings on that?
   5 years ago now is it? What am I supposed to be – some sort of memory man? I can’t even remember IF I had dinner last night, let alone what I had…5 years ago I was probably working a multi-national Pizzeria restaurant which had a staff of around 40 or so people. I guess, since I was “back of house staff” (i.e. I worked in the Kitchen) I was friends with most of the BOH staff – around 10 of us. We used to pop out to the pub occasionally (usually when it got near Christmas it was at the end of every shift) and one time a few off us went to the Abbey Park Rock Festival…

   Sorry – deviated from the subject there – serves me right for making this entry whilst reading an online comic and having an ICQ conversation… The answer is, I seem to have the same number of friends and I’ve no real feelings about he number. After all, it’s quality not quantity that counts – and there are a few close friends I have at the moment that I wouldn’t swop for 10 other friends…

4. Have you ever been attracted to someone and stayed “only friends” with them successfully?
   I’m reasonably coping with my GESF in this situation – yes, I’m quite attracted to her but I’m successfully staying friends. My ex-fiancee? Well, we just seem to have fallen out of touch. I keep meaning to write or call her, but I never get around to it.
5. Have you ever had a major fight with a friend and stayed friends?
   Not that I can recall. I don’t tend to have major fights anyway.

Now, I’m going to try and give my GESF another call (we haven’t spoken since New Years Eve/Day and when I tried to catch her the other day her phone was engaged…)