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Month: January 2003

Joke: An Idiots Guide To Being Human

[Idiots Guide To Being...]Looking into the New Year with confusion? Then do I have the pamphlet/leaflet for you! When you were born, you did not come with an owner’s manual; this guide will hopefully make your life better:

  • You will receive a body. You may not like it, but it’s the only thing you are sure to keep for life.
  • You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called “Life on Planet Earth”. Every person or incident is the Universal Teacher.
  • Will will also be studying part-time at “The School Of Hard Knocks” and “The University Of Life” – these are long standing schools and universities and hence have many traditions that you may never understand
  • There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of experimentation. “Failures” are as much a part of the process as “success.”
  • A lesson is repeated until it is learnt. It is presented to you in various forms until you learn it – then you can go on to the next lesson.
  • If you don’t learn easy lessons, they get harder. External problems are a precise reflection of your internal state. When you clear inner obstructions, your outside world changes. Pain is how the universe gets your attention.
  • You will know you have learnt a lesson when your actions have changed. Wisdom is practise. A little of something is better than a lot of nothing.
  • “There” is not better than “here”. When your “there” becomes a “here” you will simply obtain another “there.”
  • Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but it is only useful before the event.
  • Others are only mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another unless it reflects something you love or hate about in yourself.
  • Never drink more than 2 Pan-Galatic Gargle Blasters, large bottles of Whisky or motor oil
  • Your life is up to you. Life provides the canvas; you do the painting. Take charge of your life – or someone else will.
  • You always get what you want. Your subconscious rightfully determines what energies, experiences, and people you attract – therefore, the only foolproof way to know what you want is to see what you have. There are no victims, only students.
  • There is no right or wrong, but there are consequences. Moralising doesn’t help. Judgements only hold the patterns in place. Just do your best.
  • Try to always act naturally – even if you don’t feel like it.
  • Your answers lie inside you. Children need guidance from others as we mature; we trust our hearts, where the Laws of Spirit are written.
  • You know more than you have heard or been told. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

Personal: Happy New Year!

[London New Year]Happy New Year everyone! Just before the stroke of midnight I called my Mum to wish her Happy New Year (the rest of my family were either out or in bed asleep) – and, whilst doing so, I tried to send an SMS/text message to my GESF.

Silly me! I’ve been taught about the mobile phone/cellphone network system and its operation over many years (I think my first lecture about how the UK mobile phone network operates was given to me over 10 years ago) and my knowledge about the PSTN (Public Switched Telephone Network: i.e. the “normal landline” system) should have reminded me of something. From 11.45pm to approximately 1.30am on New Years Eve/Day is one of the busiest times for the networks (“Mothers Day” is one of the other ‘big’ days when telephone network congestion is usually at the highest). If you think that the whole network of transceivers that the mobile phone network uses has been based on the assumption that no more than X number of phones will be using each one at any time – and then you get a whole load of people trying to send messages/make calls at the same time period, then the system begins to fail. If I remember correctly during Christmas/New Year 1998 one British mobile phone network nearly completely failed and engineers had to be called out to a few transmitter points to manually bring them up. 2000 resulted in the networks being practically unusable for around 3 hours.