Joke: There’s a song that I recall…

Before the joke (and it’s been a few months since the last joke), a quick explanation of the title of the post – it’s taken from a Goons song that starts:

There’s a song that I recall,
My Mother sang to me,
She sang it when she tucked me in,
When I was 93….
Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po

I’ll include the full lyrics in the extended/full post (along with the joke’s punch line), so now after the set-up, here’s the joke:

A 100 year old man was having a big birthday party at his nursing home. A TV crew was there to interview the man on this special day.

“Please tell our audience how you managed to live so long,” as the reporter.

“Well, I don’t ever drink and I’ve never smoked,” replied the old man. “And, I make it a point to stay away from wild women.”

Just then, there was a loud shriek in the hall. The crew turned to see a nurse run by, followed by an agile looking, older man. The older man carried a foul smelling cigar in one hand and a glass of whiskey in the other. As he ran by, he paused for a moment, looked at the crowd and let out a hardy, “He, he, he!” and then continued his pursuit.

“What was that all about?” asked the astonished reporter.

Replied the old geezer, “Please excuse my father – he gets carried away sometimes!”

Boom boom!

Ok, not the best, so here’s the rest of the Ying Tong song:

The Ying Tong Song
(c) Spike Milligan/The Goons, 1956 (all deceased)
[orchestral intro]
Tenor: There’s a song that I recall My mother sang to me.
Sprigs [off]: Oh! [a sigh]
Tenor: She sang it as she tucked me in When I was ninety-three. [harp
plays a rising chord…]
Sprigs: I diddle, I. Who was that bum?
Bluebottle + Sprigs: Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong
iddle I po, Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong [bluebottle drops behind] Ying tong iddle I po
Sprigs: Keep lad up. Keep.
Bluebottle: Keep up lad up.
Both: Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po
Sprigs: lad
Both: Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po [lad] Iddle I po [lad] Ying tong ying tong Ying tong [Sprigs: iddle]
[Bluebottle: ying tong] Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong iddle
Bluebottle [spoken]: Ying tong iddle I po!
[short raspberry, Secombe]
Both: Oh! Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po Iddle I po!
[trumpet bit]
Bluebottle: Ying. Ying tongy tongy. Ying tong iddle I po. Ying tong iddle I po.
[Secombe under this: What a lovely lovely boy!] Ying ying ying tongy tongy.
[Milligan: Get out the rifle, sir.] Yeeeng. Ying tong ying tong d’gy-n’o. Ying tong d’ga.
[Secombe: Get away.] D’g d’g d’ga. Ying tong iddle I po.
Seagoon: Hear that crazy rhythm Driving me insane. Strike your partner on the bonce. [thump]
Eccles: Ooh. I felt no pain.
[Bluebottle screeches]
Seagoon, Bluebottle and Eccles: Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying…
[harp chord rises]
Soprano: Take me back to Vienna….
[Raspberry section, probably Milligan]
Bloodnok: Ohhhhh!
Eccles: Oh!
[harp chord]
Soprano: Take me back to Vienna, where the….
[crash!]
Seagoon, Sprigs and Bluebottle [far off]: Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po
[mad dash to foreground]
Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po
[Sprigs: keep going lad]
Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po
Seagoon: LOOK OUT!
[cry from Bluebottle]
[mad dash to distance]
[hastily] Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po [dash to foreground] Ying tong…
[whine of bomb dropping, explosion]
Double speed, but same tempo, Goons: Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po Iddle I po. Ying tong ying tong Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po Iddle I po.
One: Ying! Tongy tongy tongy. Yiddy diddy diddy da daaa. Ying diddy. Ying tong diddle. Yiddada boo.
[rhythmic thigh slapping, raspberry]
All: Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle Ying tong iddle I po Ying tong ying tong Ying tong iddle I po Iddle I po.
Bluebottle?: Whoooooh!

And yes, that was a proper song .