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Richy's Random Ramblings

Fun: Things People Said

December 4, 2002
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[Things People Said]I’ve found some of the entries on the “Things People Said” site quite funny (it lists “lines spoken by people intending to say something else”).

Some of the accident reports are well known to fans of Jasper Carrott, (such as “Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.” and “The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I ran over him.”) but some of the news reports are quite funny (“The driver involved in this incident asked that her gender not be revealed.” and “Seasonal weather for the time of year.”)

Life: Really p–d off at ex-gf

December 4, 2002
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[Anger]I’ve just found out who sent me the flowers on the 6th of November.

My blinking ex-girlfriend. *grr*.

She came round today to drop off a book and video that an old friend borrowed (Hellraiser video and Tom Sharpe’s Indecent Exposure by the way). We started talking about her new boyfriend etcetera and the conversation just slightly drifted. She then told me she had a confession to make and that she was the one that sent me the flowers (“to play with your head and hopefully get you back with me”).

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Jokes: Top 10 times when the F— word was appropriately used

December 3, 2002
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[Picasso]Quite a short entry for now as I’m absolutely worn-out (plus I’ve got several CDRs still to burn before bed). I’ll perhaps say why I’m worn out tomorrow, but for now I’ll just leave you with the Top 10 times when the F— word was used appropriately:

10. “Scattered F—-ing showers, my ass!”
– Noah, 4314 BC
9. “How the F— did you work that out?”
– Pythagoras, 126 BC
8. “You want WHAT on the F—ing ceiling?”
– Michelangelo, 1566
7. “Where did all those F—ing Indians come from?”
– Custer, 1877
6. “It does so F—ing look like her!”
– Picasso, 1926
5. “Where the F— are we?”
– Amelia Earhart, 1937
4. “Any F—ing idiot could understand that.”
– Einstein, 1938
3. “What the F— was that?”
– Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
2. “I need this parade like I need a F—ing hole in the head.”
– JFK, 1963
1. “Aw c’mon. Who the F— is going to find out?”
– Bill Clinton, 1997

Life: Saturday Night Partying

December 2, 2002
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[Weird Al in Zanzibar]I went out “on the town” again on Saturday night. Unlike Monday, I didn’t get k-lined/drunk but I still had a reasonable night out for not much cash.

As I had an £7.50 drinks voucher for Zanzibar, I decided to go there. I called a local taxi firm (as I knew the chances of me catching a bus into town that late were nil to non-existent) and got into Leicester city around 9.45pm. Paid the taxi driver (£6 – although the fare was only £5), grabbed some cash from the nearest cash point and wandered down Churchgate, up Mansfield Street and down Sandacre Street to Zanzibar (little local historical fact for you, the site on Gravel Street/Sandacre Street where Zanzibar is used to be a bus station – even though St. Margaret’s bus station is just opposite – and then it turned into a rollerdrome during the day and Zanzibar nightclub at night: now it’s just the night club) and I went in.

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