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Month: August 2007

Fun: New Security Levels Announced

From my other half: The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved”. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross”. The British have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz began in 1940 and tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance”. The last time the British issued “A Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666. Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”. The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability. It’s not only the British and French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.” The Germans also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also…

Techy Fun: Cat on mouse

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert. Category: Uncategorized. Author: Dohpaz. I am a trainer in a course in web development (Adults). Prerequisites: General level of computer knowledge. ICDL/ ECDL level or above. Knowledge of web preferable. Day one: Introduction to web, file structuring and languages quiet class taking a bit of time to warm up, that’s ok usually a little daunted then i end the lesson in some examples from previous students, class now exited. Day Two: Good mood exited people.. one hour into lesson, after two days of repeatedly asking for questions having question time and fielding many questions simple to complicated, I get this pushy woman (whom i have been asking specifically if she has any questions, as she seems to be a little.. wide eyed looking) blasts out at me Lady – My thing is broken Me – Ok Which thing? Lady – This [holding up the mouse] I go over and check the mouse thinking perhaps…

Techy Fun: Credit Card Chargebacks

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert. Category: Timewasters. Author: Anonymous. A customer called us around a month after setting up their account with us wanting to cancel it. We said all account cancellations had to be done online for security purposes and lo and behold they cancelled their account online. All good so far. A week later, they phoned asking for their money back as they never used the account. Pointed out the bit in our Terms of service about “No refunds” and the fact the account was active for a week. We didn’t hear anything from them for a few weeks until we got a letter from the credit card company saying the customer had actioned a “Chargeback” from us (a charge back is where the customer contacts their credit card company to claim the money back which then claws it back from us and stings us with a additional charge). I produced a 6 page detailed explanation of…

Techy Fun: Do you fix?

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert. Category: Just Plain Dumb. Author: Dohpaz. *Ring* *Ring* Me: “Hello, XYZ – how can I help?” Peon: “Hello, I was wondering if you fixed Dell computers?” Me: WTF? We”re a _web development_ company – we don”t “do” hardware at all. Me: “No sorry, can”t help you” Peon: “Well, do you know anyone that does fix Dell computers?” Me: “Erm, you could try Dell” Peon: “Ah yes, I best give them a call then. Bye” Me: Now totally confused. Why the h-ll didn’t they think of contacting Dell directly in the first place instead of calling random web development companies which make *no* mention whatsoever about computer hardware or Dell machines on their website…