Category: Life: Work and Techy

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Category: More Information, Please!. Author: Myself.

Speaking to a customer today who had a problem, I asked him which email program he used.

The “helpful” reply?

“What I normally use!”

I’m not kidding! I’m at the other end of phone line trying to diagnose a problem and now I’ve got to fathom out which email program from at least a dozen popular ones he just happens to be using.

The best bit is still to come.

When I asked him how long ago he last tried checking his email he replied:”Two days ago”.

I just told him to try it now, and guess what, his email downloaded. I still don’t know what his “normal” program is.

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Categories: Just Plain Dumb and Timewasters. Author: Dohpaz.

*Ring* *Ring*

Me:”Hello, tech support”
Peon:”The server has just blocked me again!”
Me:”Ok, what”s your IP address?”
(finds out IP address and unblocks customer for about the 3rd time this week)
Peon:”Why does it keep on blocking me?”
Me:”Because you keep logging in with the wrong username and password”
Peon:”Can’t you stop it blocking me?”
Me:”No, but you can start logging in with your correct details ”
Peon:”Oh ok – I”ll try that

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Category: Uncategorized. Author: Anonymous

From the Daily Mail, Friday December 31 2004:

A technical helpline for owners of new computers was flooded with more than 25,000 calls over Christmas.

PC Servicecall, which handles queries from customers of Dixons, Currys, PC World and The Link, said it received an average of one call every 21 seconds on Boxing Day. Most related to cables – mainly with the device not being properly plugged in. Others were about power supply, software installation and a failure to find the ‘on’ switch.

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Categories: More Information, Please!, Timewasters and Just Plain Dumb. Author: Dohpaz.

*Ring Ring*

Peon: “Is the server down?” (note: we have many servers)
Me: “Which server?”
Peon: “MY server” ok, so now we are expected to recognise people just by their voices are we?)
Me: “What is your web site address?
Peon: “xxxxx” (checks – up and running)
Me: “That appears to be working for me. What message do you get when you go to your website”
Peon: “THAT WORKS.”
Me: “Well, what appears to be the problem?”
Peon: “Its email that’s not working” (why didn”t you tell me that before?)
Me: “What, exactly, is the problem?”
Peon: “I can’t send or receive email.”
Me: “What error message are you getting when you try?”
Peon: “Invalid password.”
Me: “Ok, in your email program, what does it say in the username box”
Peon: “‘Username'”
Me: “The word username?”
Peon: “Yes”
Me: “Try actually putting your username – yyyy- in that box and trying again”
Peon: “Oh yes, that works. Bye!”

I’ll love to know how they thought an “Invalid password” message meant a server was down…

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Categories: Just Plain Dumb and Timewasters. Author: Myself.

*Ring Ring*

Co-worker: Hello “Company Name”, how can I help?
Peon: Why has my account been suspended?
Co-worker: Can I take your domain name?
Peon: xxxxx
Co-worker: That account has been suspended for breaching our terms and conditions.
Peon: What do you mean?
Co-worker: The totally free web hosting package (which you don’t pay for) just asks for you to put a link back to our site from yours.
Peon: And?
Co-worker: Not including that link after 30 days is a breach of the free hosting terms and conditions.
Peon: But I didn’t know about that!
Co-worker: It’s displayed on the screen before you place your order, when you complete your order, when you receive email notification with your login details AND it’s displayed in your control panel.
Peon: Well, that’s a rip-off!

*Peon hangs-up*

So it’s a rip-off that we’re offering him a free hosting account and he can’t follow basic instructions that are repeated several times?