Archive for the ‘Life: Work and Techy’ category

Techy: Installing YUM into a Virtuozzo Virtual Environment

August 6th, 2007

Quick note for my future reference:

To install YUM (the replacement for RedHat’s up2date package manage) into a Virtuozzo Virtual Machine/VM/Virtual Environment/VE, just log in to the hardware node and issue the command:

vzpkg install 106 -p yum

where 106 is the number of the virtual machine you wish to install yum into.

Techy Fun: Do you remember me?

August 6th, 2007

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Category: I wish I had said. Author: Dohpaz.

*Ring Ring*
Peon: “Hi, I called last week – do you remember me”
Me: “I handle over 50 calls a day from several thousand customers along with a number of helpdesk tickets from all sorts of strange people. You do NOT want to be the one person I remember a week later…”

(I haven’t said that yet, but there’s still time 😉 )

Techy Fun: Take a hint, it ain’t us!

July 31st, 2007

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Categories: Gee, I Wonder why? and Just Plain Dumb. Author: Web Site Submission

Today we had a customer contacting us regarding a payment he had made. Unfortently, the payment wasn’t to us, but we managed to work out which company it was from and told him (together with their contact details).

He queried the payment again.

We stated, again, it wasn’t to us and who to contact.

He queried the payment again saying he did buy it from us.

We again told him it wasn’t from us and pointed out that we didn’t even sell that service. We also, again, pointed out who to contact (it was on his receipt).

Guess what? Yep, he queried it with us a forth time.

We just repeated the previous step.

Finally he acknowledged “Oh, I think I may have the wrong company – I think I brought it off another company”. Gee, I wonder what gave him that idea? I’m sure it wasn’t the fact that we told him 4 times!

Techy Fun: Premium Rate Phone Support

July 26th, 2007

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Categories: Just Plain Dumb and Timewasters. Author: Dohpaz

*Ring Ring*
Me: “Hello technical support. Calls are charged at premium rate of £1 per minute. How can I help?”
Peon: “Oh, hello. Is that technical support?”
Me: “Yes, this is technical support and calls are charged at £1 per minute. How can I help?”
Peon: “£1 per minute eh? I bet that gets you a bit of money doesn’t it? In that case I better be quick shouldn’t I?”
Me: “Yes, how can I help?”
Peon: “I’ve lost my password”
Me: “Ok, can I take your website address please?”
Peon: “Oh, ok, let me just find that…. Ah, there it is, it’s xxxx”
Me: “Ok, just a couple of secret questions. Can I just ask your mothers maiden name and the first line of your address?”
Peon: “YYY and 123 StreetName”
Me: “Ok, your new password is yyyyy”
Peon: “Thank you. Let me just try it now to make sure it works. Let me just connect to the internet”
Me: “Ok, but just to remind you, calls are charged at £1 per minute”
Peon: “Thank you – I shouldn’t be too long…… … … I’ve got the login box – what do I put in the username box?”
Me: “Your username”
Peon: “That’s zzzz isn’t it”
Me: “That’s right”
(noises of very slow typing)
Peon: “And in the password box?”
Me: “The password I just gave you”
Peon: “That’s yyyyy isn’t it?”
Me: “Yes”
(noises of very slow typing)
Peon: “Oh yes, that’s got me in. Thank you!”
(click as phone hangs up).

So a call lasting over 5 five minute at £1 per minute where most of it consisted of him “moaning” about the cost of the call and then actually typing in the information I gave him. If he had been prepared, the call would have lasted less than a minute and saved him quite a bit of money…

Techy Fun: The customer who couldn’t tell the time

July 25th, 2007

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Categories: I Wish I Had Said and Just Plain Dumb. Author: Frank.

We offer a service which is provided to the customer within 72 hours of ordering (and this is stated on our order system), so it just really got me annoyed today (1st of January – a day when most businesses are closed) when we had somebody call us asking for their money back as we hadn’t provided the service within 72 hours. They said “I’ve waited over 72 hours and still haven’t got X – I want my money back”.

I pulled up their records and noted the order time and date – 31st of December at 7.30pm. It was now 1st of January at 1pm. I pointed out that 72 hours is three days and they ordered at 7.30pm the day before – so it wasn’t even *24* hours. The line went a bit quiet when I explained this simple fact to them. “So should I wait a bit longer then?”. “Yes sir, just wait another couple of days” was the answer I gave, “Gee, I dunno, it depends if 72 hours has passed in the time I explained this to you you f-ckwit” was the answer I wanted to give..

gamy-dance
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