Random ramblings and ravings of Richy B
Yes, I’ve mis-quoted Weird Al’s “Your Horoscope for today”, what ya goin do, sue me? I’m gonna sue sue, yes I’m gonna sue, Sue Sue yeah I might even sue you.
Ehm..
Sorry, please don’t sue me even though I had a Weird Al moment there. To distract you – here’s something SHINY! Oooh, shinyness and KITTY! What more could somebody ask for for the weekend?
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students.
Teacher: What is your problem?
Bog: I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in third-grade and I’m smarter then she is. I think I should in the third-grade too.
The teacher took the boy to the Principal office.while the boy waiting in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told her that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed.
The boy was brought in and the condition were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal:What is 3×3?
Boy:9
Principal:What is 6×6?
Boy:36
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.”I think the boy can go to the third-grade”, said the principal.
The teacher said she had some of her own questions to ask.
The Principal and the boy agreed.
Teacher:What is that a cow has four and I have only two?
Boy: (after a moment) Legs.
Teacher:What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?
Boy:Pockets.
Teacher: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains then whitish liquid?
Boy: Coconut.
Go to http://producten.hema.nl/ and watch (needs Flash) – looks like a normal eCommerce site, but give it a few seconds and things start to happen…
Here’s my second submission to “I Can Haz Cheez burger”:
Click to see it in all of it’s lolz goodness
Have a Lol at it now (and vote for it) – and visit the image source at mfrost.typepad.com)
Dan Hardiker posted about Tesco Antics which just had me bursting out laughing. I’ve got no idea if this is fact or fiction (and isn’t it just a little scary that I can’t tell?):
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s trolleys when they weren’t looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, ‘Code 3’ in housewares….. and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the House wares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the ‘Madonna look’ using different size funnels.
12. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed, yelled ‘PICK ME!’ ‘PICK ME!’
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed ‘NO! NO! It’s those voices again.’And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, ‘There is no toilet paper in here.’
Yours sincerely,
Charles Brown
Store Manager