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Richy's Random Ramblings

Joke: 10 Ways to Terrorise a Telemarketer

January 12, 2003
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[Telemarketer]

  1. When they ask “How are you today?” Tell them! “I’m so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died.”
  2. If they say they’re John Smith from the Flibblepenguin Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
  3. Cry out in surprise, “Laura! Is that you? Oh my God! Laura, how have you been?” Hopefully, this will give Laura a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
  4. If BT calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?”
  5. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
  6. Tell the telemarketer you are confined to your house under a court order and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.
  7. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
  8. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say “I guess you don’t want anyone bothering you at home, right?” The telemarketer will agree and you say, “Now you know how I feel!”
  9. Insist that the caller is really your friend Katherine, playing a joke. “Come on Katherine, cut it out! Seriously, Katherine, how’s your family?”
  10. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

You could, also, download and use the Telemarketer Counter Script and see how long you can torture the telemarketer for. Unfortunately, I don’t seem to get many telemarketing calls so the chances of me actually utilising the script is extremely low.

Games: Mystery of Time And Space: Solution Part I

January 12, 2003
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[Mystery of Time And Space]It seems there has been an additional level added to the Mystery of Time and Space adventure game that I provided the solution to back in November.

So, for all those people who are coming here looking for either the MOTAS solution, here are some hints and tips (mostly taken off the MOTAS forum) – complete with level walkthroughs/walkthrus – for MOTAS levels 1 to 4. Levels 5 to 8 are now available.

Starting off:

General hints

When you begin your quest you find yourself in a locked bedroom.
The object of the game is to escape from that building as soon as possible. But some of the doors are locked.

Use objects to help you find your way through countless rooms filled with mystery. Use your pointer to click on the screen and carefully read the feedback.

At some points you will get objects you can use. Click on an object from your inventory (top of screen) and then click on the screen to indicate where to use it. The interactive pointer indicates which object you are holding.

Most of the times an area where you could use an item your pointer will change into a hand to indicate interactivity. Walking feet indicate a way you can move to another location and a magnifying glass indicates you can take a closer view.

Continue ReadingGames: Mystery of Time And Space: Solution Part I

Personal: Night night nightmares.

January 12, 2003
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[Freddie Kruger]Well, it’s ten to four in the morning and I really need to get to sleep (hence whilst a picture/image/icon won’t be added to this post for a few hours). So I’m going to lay in bed and watch Hackers again (I haven’t seen that movie for a few months now). I just hope that I don’t have that damn strange re-occurring nightmare again. I think it’s been started by watching “Troll” again, but I’m not sure – all I know is, if I can only remember a bit more about it when I wake up, it’ll make one hell of a horror movie. In a way – I kinda hope I do have the dream/nightmare again, at least I’ll figure out WTF a caravan has to do with it… (unless the caravan is in connection with the movie “Critters” because the Sheriff lived in one)… Blarg – this site isn’t called “Richy’s Random Ramblings” for nothing you know 🙂

What’s your opinion on dreams and nightmares? Are they premonitions (if so, heeelllpppp!), just pure fiction or a mixture?

Games: Jackson Baby Drop

January 11, 2003
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[Michael Jackson Baby Drop]Can you remember back after “Wacko Jacko”‘s strange court photograph when Michael Jackson dangled his baby over a hotel balcony? Yep? Well so can a few other people on the web – and they’ve even made games about the “stunt”.

In the Mad Blast “New Michael Jackson Baby Drop” you’ve got to catch as many babies as you can in a minute by catching them in a basket – whilst avoiding strange red spiders which seem to plague him. For some reason, the game seems to momentarily freeze every third time the music repeats – but I’ve still managed to score 1,000 (found via Gamer’s Nook).

In the GodFart’s Michael Jackson’s Baby Drop Game – you are Adolf Hitler (?!?) and you’ve got to catch the babies (by using the left and right cursor keys on the keyboard) to catch the babies being thrown by Jacko and others. My highest score has been over 850 on this game.

The Electric Chicken has The Michael Jackson Bouncing Baby Balcony Bunjee where you (again using your left and right cursor keys) have got to catch the falling babies in a bag/sack. My highest score has been 12.

And last, but by no means least, it Liquid Generation’s Michael Jackson’s Dropping Babies game where you actually control Jackson and you’ve got to try and drop the babies into a crib/pram. You’ve got to score 10 points in 30 seconds to progress over each level – I only managed to get to stage 2 🙁 – but I blame that on the strange control system. You click with the mouse, hold and move (to position Jacko’s gloved hands) and then release.

Weekly Wrap-up: Reality TV

January 11, 2003
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[Davina McCall and the Big Brother logo]Right, this is my third week doing the Weekly Wrap-up meme, and this weeks subject is all about reality TV.

  1. Do you watch reality television? Why or why not?
    I did watch most of the first series of Channel 4’s Big Brother series, but apart from that, I haven’t really watched any (unless you count, as the ODP does, Jackass, Robot Wars and Scrapheap Challenge as “reality shows” – all three of which I enjoy).
    Why didn’t I watch Survivor, Big Brother 2+3 (and Celebrity Big Brother), The Osbournes (shudder) or any of the multitude of “clones” that have been on? They just never really interested me – after all: if you wanted to watch people sitting around doing everyday stuff, then why don’t you just go round someone’s house? Plus, due to the fact the participants know they are being recorded and are given ‘unusual tasks’ to complete hardly makes it “real” does it?

    However, if you wanted me to watch a reality show you’ll have to try and re-create Ben Elton’s Dead Famous where, in a reality show called “House Arrest” based in a house (shades of BB? 🙂 ) a contestant is killed right in front of the cameras. Everybody knows how, where, when and who was killed – but who was the killer and could they strike again. It’s a really good book, but the chances of it actually happening in real life are, alas, extremely slim

Continue ReadingWeekly Wrap-up: Reality TV