*snippet* Make mental note: The hit BBC comedy show starring Joanna Lumley, Jennifer Saunders, Julia Sawalha, and June Whitfield is NOT called Absolute Fabulously
Richy's Random Ramblings
![[Parcel with a map]](https://blog.rac.me.uk/photos/parcelmap-thumb.jpg)
It seems the package I sent by Special Delivery yesterday failed to arrive on time (“we’ll give you your money back if we haven’t attempted to deliver your item by 12 noon”). Between 11am and midday, I was talking to my GESF and then she had to go and do something – but before she went, she confirmed that the parcel hadn’t been delivered nor had a card been put through the door (and she had been in all day). However, she did tell me that the presents I sent her on Saturday finally arrived (6 days after posting).
So, I tootle off to the Royal Mail’s Track And Trace service to see exactly what has happened. What did it say? “A delivery was attempted for your item with reference [PACKAGE NUMBER] in [GESF’S TOWN] before 11:45 on 20/12/02 and we have advised the recipient that the item is now at their local Royal Mail enquiry office.” *shocked*
![[My blog coming out of a top hat]](https://blog.rac.me.uk/photos/magicblog-thumb.jpg)
To satisfy Neil‘s curiosity, here’s how my blog works…
Basically, it runs on the Movable Type blog content management system (which uses MySQL and Perl) on a Debian Linux server running the Apache web server. The web pages it outputs are made into PHP files (using Apache’s mod_mime extension with .htaccess functionality to force the .html extension files to be interpreted as PHP).
I’ve used PHP to help split the site down into several extra “template” files – therefore if I want to make a change to the title bar of the site or to the column which runs down the side – then I just change the appropriate template file, “rebuild” it and the entire site is dynamically re-updated.
That’s the basics: now onto the more complicated stuff…
![[Hamsters]](https://blog.rac.me.uk/photos/hamster.jpg)
After a little “something” for Crimbo/Xmas (depending on which side of the Atlantic you are from)? All alone at home? Well, have I got the perfect gift for you!
The Real Hamster is “the world’s finest love hamster” and is realistic, lifesize, lifelike (“anatomically correct, if better endowed than most real hamsters”), beautiful, and elastic (“remains tight even after millions of operations”).
Yep, just like that strange human-shaped Real Doll you can get (sorry – no link’s as it’s a bit “too” Adult for linking from here: but use Google), you can select the “Body Type” you want, “Head Type”, fur, nose and eye colour/color as well as any “extras”.
So, if you love animals in more than “one way” and don’t want to break the law – then order away!
Oh, and the “Original Dancing Hampsters” have a Christmas dance (you can still see the original hamster dance at a number of mirror sites). Ahh – listening to that little clip made me get out my copy of Cognoscenti Vs Intelligentsia which was a single by the Cuban Boys with a “full length” song of the Hamster Dance.
![[Royal Mail Parcel]](https://blog.rac.me.uk/photos/royalmailparcel.jpg)
On Saturday (14th) at around 4pm, I sent a present off to my GESF by first class postage (costing £1.48) with the hope it’ll be there by Tuesday at the latest.
It’s now Thursday afternoon, and the parcel STILL has not arrived – much to her and my disappointment. 🙁 Royal Mail (the UK’s postal organisation) state on their website that “We aim to deliver more than 90% of First Class letters by the next working day, including Saturdays“. So, assuming that Monday was the first “working day” since posting, it should have arrived at it’s destination (210 miles away) on Tuesday… Two days later and it’s still not there. Working it out from leaving Leicester at midday on Monday (which, considering I caught the last post on Saturday means I’m being generous) – and it arrives first post at its destination tomorrow (we’ll assume 8am, and I hope it DOES arrive then!): it means it had an average speed of 2.28 miles per hour. I could have walked there faster!
Luckily I got a “Certificate Of Posting” (proof that I actually posted the item) – so if it has “got lost” I can claim the value of the items back. But, after speaking to the Royal Mail’s help-desk (08457 740 740) I was informed that the Royal Mail recommends that items posted at any time of the year can take up to 10 working days to be delivered by first class post – and until that time has elapsed they can’t regard anything as “lost”! Ten days? First class?
The Christmas presents I sent down to her today were sent by “Special Delivery” (at a cost of £6.54 as it weighed around 1.5kg) which “guarantees next working day delivery by 12 noon or your money back” (also it allows you to “track and trace” the package via their website and claim up to £250 compensation – “standard” postage only entitles you to 10 times the current 1st class postage rate: at the moment, the maximum compensation is £27).
It’s going to be slightly odd if both parcels arrive at the same time – but posted 5 days apart. But it’s still disappointing that the parcel didn’t arrive in time 🙁