Richy's Random Ramblings

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Category: I wish I had said. Author: Dohpaz.

*Ring Ring*
Peon: “Hi, I called last week – do you remember me”
Me: “I handle over 50 calls a day from several thousand customers along with a number of helpdesk tickets from all sorts of strange people. You do NOT want to be the one person I remember a week later…”

(I haven’t said that yet, but there’s still time 😉 )

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Categories: Gee, I Wonder why? and Just Plain Dumb. Author: Web Site Submission

Today we had a customer contacting us regarding a payment he had made. Unfortently, the payment wasn’t to us, but we managed to work out which company it was from and told him (together with their contact details).

He queried the payment again.

We stated, again, it wasn’t to us and who to contact.

He queried the payment again saying he did buy it from us.

We again told him it wasn’t from us and pointed out that we didn’t even sell that service. We also, again, pointed out who to contact (it was on his receipt).

Guess what? Yep, he queried it with us a forth time.

We just repeated the previous step.

Finally he acknowledged “Oh, I think I may have the wrong company – I think I brought it off another company”. Gee, I wonder what gave him that idea? I’m sure it wasn’t the fact that we told him 4 times!

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Categories: Just Plain Dumb and Timewasters. Author: Dohpaz

*Ring Ring*
Me: “Hello technical support. Calls are charged at premium rate of £1 per minute. How can I help?”
Peon: “Oh, hello. Is that technical support?”
Me: “Yes, this is technical support and calls are charged at £1 per minute. How can I help?”
Peon: “£1 per minute eh? I bet that gets you a bit of money doesn’t it? In that case I better be quick shouldn’t I?”
Me: “Yes, how can I help?”
Peon: “I’ve lost my password”
Me: “Ok, can I take your website address please?”
Peon: “Oh, ok, let me just find that…. Ah, there it is, it’s xxxx”
Me: “Ok, just a couple of secret questions. Can I just ask your mothers maiden name and the first line of your address?”
Peon: “YYY and 123 StreetName”
Me: “Ok, your new password is yyyyy”
Peon: “Thank you. Let me just try it now to make sure it works. Let me just connect to the internet”
Me: “Ok, but just to remind you, calls are charged at £1 per minute”
Peon: “Thank you – I shouldn’t be too long…… … … I’ve got the login box – what do I put in the username box?”
Me: “Your username”
Peon: “That’s zzzz isn’t it”
Me: “That’s right”
(noises of very slow typing)
Peon: “And in the password box?”
Me: “The password I just gave you”
Peon: “That’s yyyyy isn’t it?”
Me: “Yes”
(noises of very slow typing)
Peon: “Oh yes, that’s got me in. Thank you!”
(click as phone hangs up).

So a call lasting over 5 five minute at £1 per minute where most of it consisted of him “moaning” about the cost of the call and then actually typing in the information I gave him. If he had been prepared, the call would have lasted less than a minute and saved him quite a bit of money…