Techy Fun: Premium Rate Phone Support

July 26th, 2007 by Richy B. Leave a reply »

As I’m in the process of slowing shutting down other sites I’ve worked on (due to time constraints), I’m reposting them here. Here’s an article from “Behind The Frontline” which was going to be a cross between I Work With Fools, Worse Than Failure and Dilbert.

Categories: Just Plain Dumb and Timewasters. Author: Dohpaz

*Ring Ring*
Me: “Hello technical support. Calls are charged at premium rate of £1 per minute. How can I help?”
Peon: “Oh, hello. Is that technical support?”
Me: “Yes, this is technical support and calls are charged at £1 per minute. How can I help?”
Peon: “£1 per minute eh? I bet that gets you a bit of money doesn’t it? In that case I better be quick shouldn’t I?”
Me: “Yes, how can I help?”
Peon: “I’ve lost my password”
Me: “Ok, can I take your website address please?”
Peon: “Oh, ok, let me just find that…. Ah, there it is, it’s xxxx”
Me: “Ok, just a couple of secret questions. Can I just ask your mothers maiden name and the first line of your address?”
Peon: “YYY and 123 StreetName”
Me: “Ok, your new password is yyyyy”
Peon: “Thank you. Let me just try it now to make sure it works. Let me just connect to the internet”
Me: “Ok, but just to remind you, calls are charged at £1 per minute”
Peon: “Thank you – I shouldn’t be too long…… … … I’ve got the login box – what do I put in the username box?”
Me: “Your username”
Peon: “That’s zzzz isn’t it”
Me: “That’s right”
(noises of very slow typing)
Peon: “And in the password box?”
Me: “The password I just gave you”
Peon: “That’s yyyyy isn’t it?”
Me: “Yes”
(noises of very slow typing)
Peon: “Oh yes, that’s got me in. Thank you!”
(click as phone hangs up).

So a call lasting over 5 five minute at £1 per minute where most of it consisted of him “moaning” about the cost of the call and then actually typing in the information I gave him. If he had been prepared, the call would have lasted less than a minute and saved him quite a bit of money…

This post is over 6 months old.

This means that, despite my best intentions, it may no longer be accurate.

This blog holds over 12 years of archived content - during that time, I may have changed my opinion of something, technology will have advanced (and old "best standards" may no longer be the case), my technology "know how" has improved etc etc - it would probably take me a considerable amount of time to update all the archival entries: and defeat the point of keeping them anyway.

Please take these posts for what they are: a brief look into my past, my history, my journey and "caveat emptor".

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