Category: Life: News Commentary

Ok, this isn’t technically a news commentary article, but the thing I’m commenting about did appear in a news paper so my strange logic means that it is technically news 😉

Anyway, just flicking through my local news paper and I came across this advert in the classified ads section:

NAKED HOUSE CLEANER Male requires work. Willing to travel. Call —- —-

I think it’s more a case of “House Cleaner requires clothes” then anything! Now, haven’t you got to ask at least two questions: If he’s such a good house cleaner, why does he need to advertise? and 2: If he’s actually good looking, why does he need to advertise?

Unless, of course, the advert fits in with the rest of the half page full of “massage parlours” and “personal services” from companies such as “Laura Kane”, “Bunnys”, “Moulin Rouge”, “Honeyz” and “Creme de la creme”: either Leicester’s got quite a demand for the 21 Saunas and Massage parlours advertised or something else is going on: but I’m sure that it’s all perfectly innocent, after all, this is the news paper that states under their computer section:

PLEASE NOTE: As the — — is a family newspaper, we will not accept advertisements for computer games that have an ELSPA or BBFC rating of 15 or 18

So: computer games aimed at Adults are out, but “sensual massages”, advertisements for bar work and tattoo parlour work, premium rate adult chat lines and “personal services” are in?

Hmm – am I the only person that thinks that that policy is slightly odd?

Despite all the bad news currently going around on the main news sites, I still found an entertaining little article over on the BBC News Site: “A fish heading for slaughter in a New York market shouted warnings about the end of the world before it was killed, two fish cutters have claimed.“.

Why could this fish talk? Well, “many members of the city’s Jewish community are now certain that God, troubled by the prospect of war in Iraq, has revealed Himself in fish form.” God’s spoken from a burning bush before – but a feesh? Especially a feesh that “was eventually killed by Mr Nivelo and sold”.

God, if it was you, try an appear as a non-food item next time. Maybe if you could start speaking from banknotes you’ll get a bit more attention – and, if you don’t, at least sales of Abba’s “Money Talks” single will go through the roof 😉

I just came across this article on BBC news which made me think “Stupid driver”:

A bus driver crashed his double-decker into a bridge after asking two teenage passengers for directions.

Ok, I can understand him asking for directions if he gets lost – but I know that 99% of all bridges come with a “height restriction” sign stating the maximum height of any vehicles: hence if the sign says “13ft” a 14’6″ bus will NOT fit under it! He obviously wasn’t quite reading the road correctly whilst the “navigators” (a pair of teenage girls) were shouting out instructions to him – saying that, would you trust a couple of teenagers to give you the correct instructions?

The bus driver should have radioed or called into base and said he just didn’t know where he was going – at the very least the depo. could have provided him with accurate directions (I’ve noticed most bus drivers actually have a ‘route plan’ anyway)…

The phrase “Pride comes before a fall” comes to mind…

Discovered via the ODP on Ananova news: Kiwi caught speeding semi-naked on motorised bar stool!

Ok, not quite the little flightless bird, but rather a drunken New Zealander on a motorised bar stool (which can reach speeds of 50mph) being stopped by police. Oh – and by looks of things, he also had tried the old trick of “setting light to his farts” and, in true comedic style, it “back fired” and he was on the motorised stool with a burning arse!

Just when you think you’ve seen it all! Heh! John Sullivan got 200 hours of community service for driving the stool without registration or a warrant (which, I’d guess, it practically a tax disc).

Continued coverage of the Space Shuttle Columbia breaking up:

The image for this entry (which you can click on to enlarge) is from the National Weather Service Radar (Long Range Base Reflectivity) for the Dallas/Fort Worth (Texas) area at the time of the shuttle crash. The area in red is the path the shuttle took (it’s indicated in red as that portion of the image is an hour old at 1622 UTC).

Columbia was launched on the 16th of January on a science mission (where it orbited the Earth for sixteen days), but mainly made headline news because of the presence of the first Israeli astronaut (48 year old Ilan Ramon). His family was staying in the USA, and a Israeli embassy crew have been sent to assist the family. President Bush has called the Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon to update him on current known facts. There are NO suspicions of any terrorist related activity (the FBI have stated that they are not involved in any investigations) – despite some media reports.

Debris from the shuttle have been found over 120 miles of Texas – people are being warned NOT to approach or touch the debris but the contact the authorities – toxic fumes are generated during re-entry that are hazardous to health (that’s why when a shuttle lands, the “approach crew” are wearing bio-hazard suits). Witnesses in North Texas have said they heard a “big bang” around 2.16UTC (9.16am Texas time) which was around the time that contact with the shuttle was lost and the time at which the shuttle was due to land. It had just begun its re-entry procedure when contact was lost.

It is not known what, if any, affect this disaster will have on the International Space Station where there are currently 3 crewmembers (Commander Ken Bowersox, Flight Engineer Nikolai Budarin and NASA ISS Science Officer Don Pettit) – but this is the first time in 42 years that NASA has lost a space crew during the landing stage (the most hazardous and dangerous phrase of any mission).

Shortly after Columbia was launched on the 16th, a piece of insulating foam on its external fuel tank came off and hit the left wing of the shuttle. At the time Leroy Cain (the lead flight director at Mission Control) assured reported that engineers had concluded that any damage to the wing was considered minor and posed no safety hazard – no major damage was suspected to have been made to the 20,000 thermal tiles that help protect the shuttle’s aluminium shell from the hour-long re-entry temperatures which can go as high as 1,600 degrees C (3,000 F).

Neil has a good photograph of the crew, Dave is providing good news coverage, Joni Electric (a Texan) has some good coverage, Nacanowhere also has some good Texan related coverage along with a photograph of some of the debris and Meredith has a few thoughts on the Columbia disaster.