Archive for the ‘Net: Jokes’ category

Joke: Inspirational Signs

September 13th, 2008

I’ve just come across a site which has a number of inspirational signs and I thought I’d share a few of my favourites with you (all 31 RSS feed readers and 182 daily visitors):
» Read more: Joke: Inspirational Signs

Large Hydron Collider

September 12th, 2008

If you aren’t sure the Large Hydron Collider has destroyed the world, then this website hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com will let you know – however, you could just keep an it via the web cams.

(Both links from Jake Ortman)

Joke: Airlines and Operating Systems

December 19th, 2007

Tension Not.com has some very funny analogies of how airlines would operate if they were ran the way operating systems (such as Windows, Linux and Mac) do. Here’s just two examples from their list:

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don’t need to know, don’t want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Vista Airlines:

You enter a good looking terminal with the largest planes you have ever seen. Every 10 feet a security officer appears and asks you if you are “sure” you want to continue walking to your plane and if you would like to cancel. Not sure what cancel would do, you continue walking and ask the agent at the desk why the planes are so big. After the security officer making sure you want to ask the question and you want to hear the answer, the agent replies that they are bigger because it makes customers feel better, but the planes are designed to fly twice as slow. Adding the size helped achieve the slow fly goal.

Once on the plane, every passenger has to be asked individually by the flight attendants if they are sure they want to take this flight. Then it is company policy that the captain asks the passengers collectively the same thing. After answering yes to so many questions, you are punched in the face by some stranger who when he asked “Are you sure you want me to punch you in the face? Cancel or Allow?” you instinctively say “Allow”.

After takeoff, the pilots realize that the landing gear driver wasn’t updated to work with the new plane. Therefore it is always stuck in the down position. This forces the plane to fly even slower, but the pilots are used to it and continue to fly the planes, hoping that soon the landing gear manufacturer will give out a landing gear driver update.

You arrive at your destination wishing you had used your reward miles with XP airlines rather than trying out this new carrier. A close friend, after hearing your story, mentions that Linux Air is a much better alternative and helps.

Joke: What makes 100%?

June 1st, 2007

What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those
people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to
those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about
achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these
questions:
» Read more: Joke: What makes 100%?

Joke: Interesting Year….

May 18th, 2007

Interesting Year: 1981

1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope Died

Interesting Year: 2005

1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament
4. Pope Died

Lesson Learned? –
» Read more: Joke: Interesting Year….

gamy-dance
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